文 | 自然卷@知乎

自古严师出高徒，“天将降大任于是人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨……”。然而，这并不能作为审稿人走向“键盘侠”之路的理由！让我们这些卑微投稿人心里真是好凉凉！ಥ_ಥ

大家来看看，这些毒舌傲娇又搞笑可爱的人儿们，都是怎么花式拒绝我们的？！

（重点：审稿人说得都对，我们实则心存感激，一定认真改！）

难以招架的编辑评论

The results are as weak as wet noodles.（结论跟湿面条一样软弱无力）

The authors are amateur.（作者怕不是个兼职的）

It is a bit for me that authors have used Python statistical analysis instead of SPSS or Matlab as usual.Please,explain.（本文用了Python而不是像通常用SPSS和Matlab处理数据，为啥）

Did you have seizure while writing this sentence?Because I fell like I had one while reading it.（你写文章的时候犯癫痫了吗？反正我觉得我读的时候犯了）

Why chase a gene in this ridiculous organism?（为什么在这种荒诞的生物里追求一个基因）

This paper introduce tools to answer questions which it dose not seem many people are interested in.（本文介绍了些解决问题的工具，然而人们并不感兴趣）

The English language ranks this manuscript among the top 5 worst manuscripts I have ever reviewed.（这篇文章的英语水平可以排进我看过的最烂的前五）

I started reading this manuscript with much anticipation.But my enthusiasm was short lived.（我满怀期待读这篇文章，但热情很短）

I have rarely a more blown-up and annoy paper in the last couple of years than this hot-air balloon manuscript.（我过去几年都没读过这篇像屁一样烦人的文章）

Figure3.This figure is silly.（这图好蠢呐）

This paper makes no contribution.（这文章有锤子贡献）

But now, there are over 1000 articles on this topic. But this author have not read a single.（这个方向至少有一千篇文章，作者没读过一篇）

Reject-More holes than my grandads' string vest.（拒了，漏洞比我爷爷的背心上的网眼还多）

The biggest problem with manuscript, which has nearly sucked the will to live out of me, is the terrible writing style.（这篇稿子审得我都想自挂东南枝了）

This paper is desperate. Please reject it complete and then block The author's email ID so they can't use The online system future.（文章太差了，麻烦封掉作者的账号以免他以后再投稿）

The writing and data presentation are so bad that I had to leave and go home early and then spend time to wonder what life is about.（手稿和数据显示让我整个人都不好了，不得不提前下班，开始怀疑人生）

The presentation is of a standard that I would reject from an undergraduate student.(就算回到本科时期，我也会拒掉这种文章)

It's hard for me to understand why it takes 5 authors to perform and describe one simple experiment.（我很难理解为啥需要5个作者来阐述这么简单的一个问题）

This was a possible candidate for me the 'worst use of statistics to substantiate and falsehood' award.（这篇文章可以竞选一下瞎鸡儿统计学得出错误结论奖）

If I had known this would be sucj an easy one to review(reject!), I would have done it earlier instead of waiting for my dog to have a baby.（拒了，早晓得审稿如此简单，我就该早做了而不是等我狗生完）

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