托福写作23范文与解析

用法：

technological improvement/advancement/development
under the circumstance
sort of out of date 有些过时’
提到一点：社会发展
self-efficiency
善用take advantages of
出现：emergence
白领阶层:white-collar class
urban/rural = town/ country
innegligible 不可忽视的

改写后：
In modern society, the emergence of a phenomenon such that the rhythm of our life is getting much quicker than before is indisputable, especially for the white-collar class in urban cities. Sometimes the development of technology pushes us to finish our assignments more efficiently. Then there appears a controversy that is it really good that the days when one concentrated on their work, doing it slowly but perfectly, are long away? In spite of a voice that people should also take their time and treat their work seriously to avoid any mistakes, I, personally, approve of the opinion that people should take some risks and finish their work as soon as possible.

In the first place, with the development of our society and technology, the pace of our life is innegligible faster than before, which makes us to take some risks to get the advantage point. So when we are troubled or too much devoted in something not really matters, our rivals will surpass us. Taking the programmers as an example, they have an unwritten discipline such that, push it out firstly, and complete it later. To be more specific, when they are completing their assignments, they will firstly give a solution which meets the basic demands to occupy the market, and then they take many times longer to testify the bugs and improve the functions. So if you are trapped in the idea to make your applications as complete as possible, it is hard to get a chance to survive in the high-speed train.

In addition, working quickly could save the precious time to generate our advantages. It is indisputable that you can find some mistakes or errors when refining your work, but sometimes, it does not contribute to the final judgement of your work. In other words, we are just risk making mistakes, it does not mean we have definitely made some mistakes. Also, some mistakes are not pivotal. Thus, the time we have saved could help us to improve ourselves, and make us to accomplish more tasks than others. In that way, the advantages of you can be generated, which will finally lead you to be successful.

All in all, I am in favor of the opinion that we can take the risks of making some mistakes to work quicker, which is the demand of the pushing society and also, a good method for us to approach success.

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