我现在不在办公室、在外头面试一工作。如果成不了，我就回来回复你——你最好有心理准备我会发飙。

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all。

你现在收到这个自动回复就表示我不在办公室。如果我在办公室，那你多半啥也收不到。

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team。

抱歉错过了你的消息，因为我现在医生这里、让他们把我整一个没心没肺的，好晋升到管理层。

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received。

要等我休假回来我才有时间删你发来的邮件哦。耐心点，我会按你发的顺序依次删除哒!

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message。

谢谢你的来信。前十个字将从你的信用卡中扣除5.99美金，以后每个字按1.99美金计费。

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again。

邮件服务器无法检测到你的链接。你的讯息未能被发送，请重启电脑试着再发一遍。

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks。

谢谢你的来信，它已被添加到列队等候系统。你现在所在的位置是352位，预计将于19周后收到回复。

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response。

嗨，我在想你刚刚发给我的东西，请侯在电脑旁边等我回复。

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus。

我跟你现在不是一圈子里的人。

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Kate’ instead of Dave。