Google CFO 的辞职信

 

After nearly 7 years as CFO, I will be retiring from Google to spend more time with my family.  Yeah, I know you've heard that line before.  We give a lot to our jobs.  I certainly did.  And while I am not looking for sympathy, I want to share my thought process because so many people struggle to strike the right balance between work and personal life.

This story starts last fall. A very early morning last September, after a whole night of climbing, looking at the sunrise on top of Africa - Mt Kilimanjaro. Tamar (my wife) and I were not only enjoying the summit, but on such a clear day, we could see in the distance, the vast plain of the Serengeti at our feet, and with it the calling of all the potential adventures Africa has to offer. (see exhibit #1 - Tamar and I on Kili).

And Tamar out of the blue said "Hey, why don't we just keep on going". Let's explore Africa, and then turn east to make our way to India, it's just next door, and we're here already. Then, we keep going; the Himalayas, Everest, go to Bali, the Great Barrier Reef... Antarctica, let's go see Antarctica!?" Little did she know, she was tempting fate.

I remember telling Tamar a typical prudent CFO type response- I would love to keep going, but we have to go back. It's not time yet, There is still so much to do at Google, with my career, so many people counting on me/us - Boards, Non Profits, etc

But then she asked the killer question: So when is it going to be time? Our time? My time? The questions just hung there in the cold morning African air.

A few weeks later, I was happy back at work, but could not shake away THE question: When is it time for us to just keep going? And so began a reflection on my/our life. Through numerous hours of cycling last fall (my introvert happy place) I concluded on a few simple and self-evident truths:

First, The kids are gone.  Two are in college, one graduated and in a start-up in Africa. Beautiful young adults we are very proud of. Tamar honestly deserves most of the credit here. She has done a marvelous job. Simply marvelous. But the reality is that for Tamar and I, there will be no more Cheerios encrusted minivan, night watch because of ear infections, ice hockey rinks at 6:00am. Nobody is waiting for us/needing us.

Second, I am completing this summer 25-30 years of nearly non-stop work (depending on how you wish to cut the data). And being member of FWIO, the noble Fraternity of Worldwide Insecure Over-achievers, it has been a whirlwind of truly amazing experiences. But as I count it now, it has also been a frenetic pace for about 1500 weeks now. Always on - even when I was not supposed to be. Especially when I was not supposed to be. And am guilty as charged - I love my job (still do), my colleagues, my friends, the opportunities to lead and change the world.

Third, this summer, Tamar and I will be celebrating our 25th anniversary. When our kids are asked by their friends about the success of the longevity of our marriage, they simply joke that Tamar and I have spent so little time together that "it's really too early to tell" if our marriage will in fact succeed. 
If they could only know how many great memories we already have together. How many will you say? How long do you have? But one thing is for sure, I want more. And she deserves more. Lots more.

Allow me to spare you the rest of the truths. But the short answer is simply that I could not find a good argument to tell Tamar we should wait any longer for us to grab our backpacks and hit the road - celebrate our last 25 years together by turning the page and enjoy a perfectly fine mid life crisis full of bliss and beauty, and leave the door open to serendipity for our next leadership opportunities, once our long list of travels and adventures is exhausted.

Working at Google is a privilege, nothing less. I have worked with the best of the best, and know that I am leaving Google in great hands. I have made so many friends at Google it's not funny. Larry, Sergey, Eric, thank you for friendship. I am forever grateful for letting me be me, for your trust, your warmth, your support, and for so much laughter through good and not so good times.

To be clear, I am still here. I wish to transition over the coming months but only after we have found a new Googley CFO and help him/her through an orderly transition, which will take some time.

In the end, life is wonderful, but nonetheless a series of trade offs, especially between business/professional endeavours and family/community. And thankfully, I feel I’m at a point in my life where I no longer have to have to make such tough choices anymore. And for that I am truly grateful. Carpe Diem.

Patrick

在首席财务官这一工作岗位工作了近七年之后，我将从谷歌退休，花更多时间陪伴家人。是的，我知道你们以前都听过这套说辞。我们为自己的工作付出太多了。毫无疑问我就是一例。虽然我并不期望获得同情，却想要分享自己的心路历程，因为仍有许多人在工作与个人生活之间努力挣扎、权衡。

要从去年秋天说起。去年九月的一个清晨，在经过一整晚的攀登之后，我在非洲最高峰乞力马扎罗山 (Mt Kilimanjaro) 顶观看日出。妻子塔玛 (Tamar) 和我一边享受登顶的愉悦，那一天晴空万里，我们能够一眼望去脚下塞伦盖蒂 (Serengeti) 广阔的平原，感受那种呼唤——非洲旅行所有可能的探险经历。

塔玛不知道为什么突然对我说，“嘿，我们为什么不就这样一直走下去呢。让我们探索非洲吧，之后再转向东方，踏上去印度的旅途，就在旁边，我们已经在这儿了。接着，我们继续走下去；去喜马拉雅山、珠穆朗玛峰，去巴厘岛，去大堡礁…… 南极洲，我们去看南极洲怎么样！？”她并不清楚，这是在冒险。

我记得自己对塔玛做了一个典型谨慎的 CFO 会做出的回应：我愿意继续走下去，但是我们必须要回去。现在还不是时候，在谷歌还有许多工作要做，我的职业生涯也是，许多人还要指望我/我们——董事会，非营利组织等等。

但是之后她说出了一锤定音的问题：究竟何时才是时候呢？我们的，什么时候？我的又是什么时候？这个问题就这样一直悬在那里，在非洲那个寒冷的清晨。

几个星期之后，我很高兴回到了工作状态，但是这个问题却在脑海中久久挥之不去：何时才是我们继续探险旅途的时机呢？我对自己/我们的人生开始了反省。去年秋天，(在我内心的幸福深处) 经过很长时间的深思熟虑之后，我得出了几个简单浅显的结论：

一、孩子们已经不在身边。两个在上大学，一个已经毕业，正在非洲的某家创业公司工作。他们都是让我们引以为傲的出色的年轻人。这里大部分的功劳都要归塔玛。她是一个不可思议的母亲。真的是不可思议。但是现在对于塔玛和我来说，面包车包装的麦圈 (Cheerios)、孩子耳部感染需要的整晚看护、早上六点的冰球训练，这些都已经是过去的事情了。没有人在等我们照顾他们，孩子们已经不需要我们了。

二、今年夏天我将完成自己 25 至 30 年 (取决于你怎么分割数据) 近乎不间断的工作。作为 FWIO ——这个全世界著名的由缺少安全感的过度成功者组成的兄弟会组织——的一名成员，这的确是一种了不起的经历。但是就我目前的计算来看，这种经历现在已经是总计大约 1500 周连续工作的疯狂节奏了。始终在忙碌——即便是在本不该如此的时候，特别是这些时候，我十分愧疚——我深爱我的工作 (至今仍旧如此)，我的同事们，我的好友们，还有那些能够改变世界的机会。

三、这个夏天，塔玛和我要庆祝结婚 25 周年。我们的孩子被他们的朋友们问及父母婚姻长久美满的成功秘诀，他们只是开玩笑说塔玛和我在一起几乎没有共度的时间，所以我们的婚姻是否成功“真的现在说还太早”。如果我们能够有那些许多共同度过的美好回忆该多好。你能说出多少呢？又有多久呢？无论如何，有一件事是肯定的，我希望有更多。我的妻子应该得到更多，更多更多。

请允许我和你们分享我得出的其余结论。答案很简单，我找不到一个好的反驳去告诉塔玛，我们应该再多等一段时间才背上背包、踏上旅程——掀过这一页，享受一个充满祝福和美好的中年生活，庆祝我们在一起的 25 年，为我们下一代领导者的出现打开门。

在谷歌工作是一种荣幸，别无所求。与最顶尖的人一起工作，我知道谷歌会在他们的努力下发展得更好。我在谷歌结识了如此多的挚友。拉里，谢尔盖，埃里克，感谢你们的友谊。我永远感激谷歌让我做自己，感谢你们的信任，你们的温暖，你们的支持，还有那么多在顺境逆境时的欢笑。

要澄清的是，我仍旧在谷歌。我希望在未来几个月里完成交接，但是只有在我们找到一个新的合适谷歌的 CFO 并帮助他/她完成有序的过渡之后，这需要花费一些时间。

最后要说的是，人生是美好的，却无非是一系列的取舍，尤其是在生意/专业努力和家庭/社区生活之间。谢天谢地，我觉得自己迎来了人生中一个阶段：我不再需要做出这样的取舍了。对此我真的心存感激。活在当下吧 (Carpe Diem)。

帕特里克