第二讲

BEC写作的语言、语法、组织和文体

评分标准：

级别

第一部分分数

第二部分分数

5

全部完成答题要求

l

所有内容点都已包括在内并在答题要求允许的情况下加以发挥

l

语言规范、自然；错误最少，均属小错。

l

多样化的语言结构和丰富的词汇量。

l

组织效果好，注意前后呼应。

l

语域和格式完全适当。

给读者的印象极佳。

9或10分

18或20分

4

较好的完成答题要求

l

所有内容点都处理得不错。

l

大体准确；运用复杂语言时有错误。

l

结构合理，用词准确。

l

大体上组织较好，注意逻辑关系。

l

语域和格式总体来说适当。

给读者的印象良好。

7或8分

14或16分

3

尚能达到答题要求

l

所有的主要内容点已包括进去，遗漏了一些次要的内容。

l

出现一些错误，但不妨碍交流。

l

结构和词汇掌握范围适度。

l

组织和安排总的来说令人满意。

l

语域和格式尚可，虽然并不完全成功。

给读者的印象较好。

5或6分

10或12分

2

不能完全达到答题要求

l

遗漏了一些主要的内容点或者处理得不充分，可能有些不切题。

l

有时错误影响清楚交流，错误较多，使读者感到迷惑。

l

结构、词汇掌握范围有限。

l

内容条理不清、不连贯，造成理解困难。

l

语域和格式不适当。

给读者的印象不佳。

3或4分

6或8分

1

未能达到答题要求

l

显著的内容遗漏/或大量内容不相关，可能由于对题目要求的误解。

l

严重不规范，经常出现基本错误。

l

题目要求的结构和词汇几乎没有提到。

l

缺乏组织，造成交流失败。

l

几乎没有使用适当的语域和格式。

给读者的印象极差。

1或2分

2或4分

0

什么要求也没达到。字数少于所需字数的25%，或是完全不能辨认或是完全不切题。

0分

0分

评分五个方面：

1 content

2 language

3 structure &

vocabulary

4 organisation

展开论述上面的5个方面

1 内容的完整性

2 语言

6C原则

1．准确(correctness)

包括四层意义，即阅读人能理解、接受的英语水平；使用精确措词，传达准确信息；正确地使用语法和标点符号；拼写正确。

(1)恰当的语言风格

请比较下面两组例词：

Formal

Informal

approximately

inquire

ascertain

obtain

assist

participate

construct

purchase

contribute

sufficient

difficult

utilize

About

Ask

find out

receive

help

share

build

buy

give

enough

hard

use

(2)准确的措词和信息

下面列出的是一系列极易混淆的单词及词组，请注意区分：

a lot /

allot

all right /

alright

cannot /

can not

different from / different

than

. due to / because

of

effect /

affect

fewer /

less

lie / lay

principal /

principle

that /which

their /

them / they' re

wait for / wait

on

who /

whom

(3)正确的语法和标点符号

(4)正确的拼写

2．清楚(Clarity)

(1)逻辑布局(Logical Organization)

常用的逻辑布局方法包括：

①因果关系(Cause & Effect)

②时间顺序(Chronological Development)

③序列顺序(Sequential Development)

④比较(Comparison)

⑤一般到特殊(From General to

Specific)

⑥特殊到一般(From Specific to General)

(2)合理构架句群与段落(Well-Written Sentences &

Paragraphs)

例句：

修改前: Marshall

Corporation was founded forty years ago, and it now has branch

offices in four states, and it employs nearly 400

individuals.

修改后: Marshall

Corporation was founded forty years ago. With branch offices in

four states, it now employs nearly 400

individuals.

(3)统一性与一致性(Unity and Coherence)

(4)强调(Emphasis)

①位置

②重复

③数量

④技巧

(5) 将句中关系紧密的词尽量靠近。

比较下面三对句子：

A. They bought a bicycle in

Beijing in a small shop which costs $ 25.00.

They bought a bicycle for

$25.00 in a small shop in Beijing.

B. He was warned not to

drink water even in a restaurant which had not been

boiled.

He was warned not to drink

water which had not been boiled.

C. Those who work rapidly

get ill in these conditions.

Those who work in these

conditions rapidly get ill.

(6)

避免在同一个句子中使用意义不同的同一个字。

We

shall take a firm line with the firm．

We

shall take a strong line with the film．

3．简洁(Conciseness)

A. We have begun to export

our machine to countries abroad.

We have

begun to export our machines.

B. In the event that you

speak to Mr. Wood in regard to production, ask him to

give consideration to the delivery

schedule.

If you

speak to Mr. Wood about production, ask him to consider the

delivery schedule.

C .We require furniture

which is of the new type.

We require

new-type furniture.

(1)

使用简洁的语言(Use simple

language)

尽量使用

避免使用

please will you be good enough to

prefer express a preference for

because for the reason that

(2) 少用陈词滥调(Omit trite

expressions)

as the case

may be

it has come

to my attention

at an early

age

avail yourself of this

opportunity

previous to

crack of

dawn

pursuant to your

request

take the liberty

to

due to the fact

that

thanking you in

advance

enclosed

herein

this is to inform

you

under separate

cover

with kindest

regards

I wish to

state

(3)

避免冗长的表达方式和不必要的重复(avoid

wordy expressions & unnecessary

repetition)。Wordy Concise

1. We would like

to please

2. For the month of

August for August

3. Pursuant to the end of this

week now

4. A long period of

time a long time

5. At this

time now

6. Is at this

time is

7. The weight was higher

than the weight was greater than

8. I expected it to

be expected

9. During the year of

1995 during 1995

10. For the development

of for developing

11. In the city of

Dallas in Dallas

12. The problem was that the car would

not the car would not start

start

13. Square in

shape square

14. in accordance with your

request you requested

15. Sign on the front of this

form sign this form

16. During the time

that while

17. Consensus of

opinion we agree

18. Remember the fact

that remember

19, Held a

meeting met

20. this is the situation at this

time now

(4)删改无关紧要的成份(Remove unneeded facts)

A. It should be noted that this is the best we can

do,

B. For

your information we enclose a catalogue.

C.

Please be advised that we have received your

invoice.

1. as soon

as

possible by July 10

2. as you

indicated in your

letter as you indicated

3. at all

times always

4. at this

time now

5. continue

to utilize the old form

until start using the new form on February

such time as the new form is

available

6. despite

the fact

that despite

7. for the

month of

April for April

8. for

obvious reason

that because

9. I would

ask that

you please

I0. in

conjunction

with with

11. in the

mere recent

past recently

12. in the

unlikely event

that if

13. in the

unlikely event that I am unable

to if I am late, please delay the meeting

be on time,

please delay the meeting

14. in view

of the fact

that because

15. it will

be greatly appreciated if

you please

16. our

production of the new product

will production will begin on July 1

commence on

July 1

17. please

be advised that we expect you

to please review the contract

review the

enclosed contract

(5)多使用主动语态的句子结构以明确表达意思。

Payment of their accounts will be made by Johnsons next

week．

Johnsons will pay their accounts next

week．

4．具体(Concreteness)

(1)

尽可能地提供明确、具体的信息。

A. These brakes can stop a

car within a short distance.

These

Goodson power brakes can stop a 2-ton car within 24

feet.

B. We hope the equipment

will be delivered to our company as soon as

possible.

Please

deliver the equipment to our company before next

Friday.

C. She is a fast

typist.

She types

at the fast rate of 85 words per minute.

(2) 使用具体词汇

A. We have no hesitation in

advising you…

We advise you…

B. The

preparation of new price scale is in hand.

New price scales are being prepared this week.

C. Due to

the unusual nature of the request,…

As the request is

unusual,…

a great

deal of time, bad, large, good, small, around, old, convenient,

young, little, majority, minority, most, less

5．完整(Completeness)

自查：谁(Who)?

什么(What)?

什么时候(When)?

在哪里(Where)?

为什么(Why)?

怎么样(How)?

6．礼貌(Courtesy)

例如：

Dear Mrs.

Walters,

Because you delayed so long

in your response, Model GSF is off stock. If you are interested, we

have some similar models on hand

Yours

truly,

修改：

Dear Mrs. Walters

If I had known your needs before May 20, I could have shipped Model

GSP immediately. However, the spring sale drained our

stock.

The Model GSK, a similar instrument, is in stock, and you could

have it at the same price as the GSF. It normally sells for $10,000

more. we will ship it as soon as you give us the

word.

Yours

sincerely

(1)

使用礼貌友好的词汇

A.

说“Thank you" ,

例如:

Thank you for your letter of

yesterday.

Thank you for your prompt

reply.

Thank you for helping us in

this respect.

Thank you for your

information.

(2)体谅对方的写作态度(You-Attitude)

Writer emphasis:

We are shipping your order on

Friday.

Reader

emphasis: You

will receive your order by Monday, October 10.

Writer emphasis:

To reduce our costs, we are

changing the billing system.

Reader

emphasis: To

provide you with clear records, we are changing our billing

system.

Writer

emphasis: I was pleased to hear that the project was

completed.

Reader

emphasis: Congratulations on successfully completing the

project

Writer

emphasis: We regret that you closed your account with us a week ago. We

believe that people may come back to our bank again sooner or later

since we have a good credit among our customers.

Reader

emphasis: A week ago you closed your account with us. Whatever the reason, we

are pleased to have played some small part in your program. You are

cordially invited to use our 'other services as occasion may

require.

(3) 措辞得体(Appropriate

Wording)

a．避免采用消极性的词汇或句式

Negative

Wording: The office is closed after four O'clock,

Positive

Wording: The office is open until four O'clock.

Negative

Wording: When I received your complaint, I checked our

records.

Positive

Wording: When I received your letter, I checked our

records.

Negative

Wording: Because you failed to connect the cable, the picture was

blurred.

Positive

Wording: The picture was blurred because the V-2 cable was not connected to

the terminal.

Negative

Wording: You did not read my recent letter.

Positive

Wording: Please refer to my June 10th letter.

Negative

Wording: The Executive Board did not receive notification.

Positive

Wording: Several members of the Executive Board inquired about the time of

our December meeting. Will you please send them a

follow-up?

Negative

Wording: Your letter was not clear.

Positive

Wording: I would appreciate an outline of our marketing differences that you

mentioned in your October 14th letter.

b.有失礼貌的言词

We deny your

claim complaint

We do not

believe confusion

We are not

sure contrary

We find it difficult to

understand contrivance

We

expect delinquent

We

insist deny

We are

forced disagreeable

We take issue exasperate

You

forgot failure

You

neglected ignorance

You failed

to impatience

You

misunderstood incompetent

You

must incredible

You should

know inexcusable

You do not

have inference

You are delinquent insincere

You insist

that insinuate

You did not

say insulting

Your

ignoring intolerable

Your credit

refusal irresponsible

Your recent

complaint irritated

Your failure

to lack

Your

misunderstanding neglect

Your neglectful

attitude objection

Your disregard

for obnoxious

Your

insinuation offensive

Your lack of

communication unbelievable

Your delinquent

account uncooperative

(4)避免使用有性别歧视之嫌的词语

A．用“person”代替第三人称单数。

例如:

Instead

of: Please share this report with your supervisor. He will find it

interesting.

Say: Please share this report with your supervisor, who will find it

interesting.

B．有一些常用的商务英语词汇有性别歧视之嫌，应该稍加改变。

Instead of

Say

Businessman

workmen

Chairman

Foremen

Salesman

Spokesman

Stockboy

Workman

business

person

employees/worker

chairperson

supervisors

sales

representative / sales person

spokesperson

stock

clerk

employee /

worker

(5) 及时答复(Timely

Response)

例：We will examine your

camera to determine the shutter-response problem and have it back

to you within three weeks, if repairs axe needed, I will call you

for approval to make the repairs.

例：Mr. Smith is out of

the office until the end of the month. I am sure he will be able to

provide you with all of the information you requested when he

returns.

连贯和衔接

(一)连贯 (coherence)

常见连接词有：

1表示罗列增加

First, second,

third,

First, then / next,

after that / next, finally

For one thing … for

another…,

On (the) one hand…on

the other hand,

Besides / what’s more

/ in addition / furthermore / moreover / another /

also,

Especially / In

particular,

2表示时间顺序

now, at present,

recently,

after, afterwards,

after that, after a while, in a few days,

at first, in the

beginning, to begin with,

later, next,

finally,

immediately, soon,

suddenly, all of a sudden, at that moment, as soon as, the

moment

form now on, from then

on,

at the same time,

meanwhile,

till, not…until,

before, after, when, while, as during,

3表示解释说明

now, in addition, for

example, for instance, in this case, moreover

furthermore, in fact,

actually

4表示转折关系

but, however, while,

though, or, otherwise, on the contrary, on the

other

hand, in contrast,

despite, in spite of, even though, except (for), instead, of

course, after all,

5表示并列关系

or, and, also, too,

not only … but also, as well as, both… and, either …or, neither

…nor

6表示因果关系

because, because of,

since, now that, as, thanks to…, due to…, therefore, as a result

(of), otherwise, so…that, such…that

7表示条件关系

as (so) long as, on

condition that, if, unless

8表示让步关系

though, although, as,

even if, even though, whether …or…, however,

whoever,

whatever, whichever,

wherever, whenever, no matter how (who, what, which, where, when,

whom)

9表示举例

for example, for

instance, such as…, take… for example

10表示比较

be similar to,

similarly, the same as, in contrast, compared with (to)…just like,

just as,

11表示目的

for this reason,, for

this purpose, so that, in order to, so as to,

12表示强调

in deed, in fact,

surely, certainly, no doubt, without any doubt,

truly,

obviously, above

all,

13表示概括归纳

in a word, in short,

in brief, on the whole, generally speaking, in my opinion, as far

as I know, As we all know, as has been stated, as I have shown,

finally, at last, in summary, in conclusion,

(二)衔接 (cohesion)

1返指(referring back)

例：Davis opened a door.

“Here is your room. I am afraid it is a bit untidy.”

He picked a dirty handkerchief off the floor and

stuffed it in a drawer.

The keeper came loping

softly up the lane with the dog padding at his heels and we watched

them through the hedge as they went

by.

I held her

very close. My cheek was against

hers.

例：The women were asked

to leave. Some of them refused.

The earthquake killed 24,000

people and insured

77,000.

例：A man and a woman were

struggling up the dune. The man wore shorts.

The woman wore a print dress.

2预指(referring forward)

有多种方法可用来指代将要提及的事务。

例如：This chapter will follow the same pattern as the previous

one.

In the next

chapter, we will examine this theory in detail.

The overlap can be seen in

the table below.

3省略(Ellipsis)

例如：They can distinguish

finer detail than we can.

例如：They would stop if

they could.

I never did go to Stratford, although I probably

should have.

例如：I think we want it

more than they do.

例如：At last he agreed to

do what I asked him to.

文体：

非正式文体

Thanks for your letter. I got it 14 Sept. I’ve

sent a copy to comp HQ along with a memo re your financial

situation. I’ve set a meeting for 3 Oct at 11am to talk about

another bank loan. So, please let us know if you can make it

a.s.a.p.

But we might ask you a few things to do with

your inc. and exp. before giving you a loan. Also I need to get in

touch with the GM to okay it. Plus, we’ll first have to think about

the last time you didn’t keep p with payments.

Anyway, in the mean time, you need to fill in

this business plan. Bring it to the meeting with

you.

正式文体

Thank you for your letter received 14 September

2002. A copy has been sent to the company headquarters in addition

to a memorandum concerning your financial situation. A meeting has

been scheduled for 3 October 2002 at 11am to discuss your request

for a further bank loan. Therefore, please inform us of your

availability for this meeting at the earliest

opportunity.

However, a number of issues concerning your

income and expenditure may be queried prior to a loan being

granted. Furthermore the General Manager needs to be contacted in

order to authorise bank loans of this nature. Moreover, your

previous failure to meet payment arrangements will first have to be

considered.

Nevertheless, in the interim you are required to

complete the enclosed business plan, which should be brought to the

meeting.

e.g. I’m keen on British

history

I am particularly interested in British

history.

e.g. I’m sorry, I can’t come.

I regret to inform you that I will be unable to

attend.

关于选词，见活页。

关于文体，还应该注意：

从来不要用And引导一个句子。

不需要括号

不要缩写

不要引用

不要one-word

sentence.

不要使用口语谚语、不要使用比喻

不要使用修辞性的句子。

注意自己在题目中的身份